Jimmy and his promotion

Today was an interesting day in the life of Jimmy. Not only had he realised that he could touch his nose with his tongue, he had also gained a promotion. Granted, Jimmy was his own boss so gaining promotion was not the hardest thing in the world to achieve. He had basically decided that he wanted to be known as Führer of Robotics Entertainment Ltd. That's right! He had named his company Robotics Entertainment Ltd. Jimmy hadn't entirely thought this through. He got at least 6 phone calls a day from people enquiring about robots, not the dance craze robotics as he had hoped. However, this is where jimmy's keen people skills came into play. After around the 15 calls like this Jimmy was fed up. He decided he would not tell them that he knew nothing, and had nothing, to do with robots, but nor would he lie to them. This was an important moral distinction for our Jimmy. He was now putting full trust in the fact that he was such a good entertainer that he could turn up to a room, sometimes conference centres, full of people eagerly waiting to see a robot; but instead he turns up and does the robot and entertains them so much that they don't care - in fact they prefer it. It was a bold ambition but jimmy felt he could achieve it.

So when the next call came in, Jimmy picked up the phone with his usual "a hoi hoi"

"Erm yes hello"

"Hello there! How may I be of service" jovially responded jimmy in a manner which was most perturbing in it's jollyness.

"Erm yes ok...my names Dr. Abbott"

"Why hellooo there Dr. A! How can I help you today?" Jimmy butted in, still far to jolly to be considored anything other than creepy but certain that he was the king of customer service.

"Erm well I guess you can help me, I am throwing a rather large symposium next week and am looking for something rather extraordinary as a final act, something to wow the crowd."

Jimmy pretended to think for a second and then replied, "Oh yes we have something that certainly fits this criteria, the crowd are always wowed by my robotics."

"Wow that's perfect! Are you free in a couple of Saturdays time?"

"I am sure I can manage that," replied jimmy desperately trying to be non-chalent.

Jimmy told himself the hard bit was done. He had got the gig, all that was left was to rely on his natural talent and be so entertaining that the people forgot he wasn't the genius innovative robot they were expecting, but in fact just a prat busting out 80s dance moves. As the day approached Jimmy began to realise what he had done, he was forwarded a guest list of the event so he could see his audience and he realised that amongst these many genius's, geniuses, geniu-I, were the scientists that evented some of the most deadly weapons in the world. They may obliterate Jimmy there and then. He got worried, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he was quite frankly panicked. Then yet another idea came into his head, he would wear a robot suit whilst he did his robotics. Nobody would be nun the wiser if he did it well enough. It would be the ultimate test of his robotic ability.

The next day, the morning of the symposium, he went to the garden centre and bought all the products that he could. He had metallic spray paint, he had cardboard boxes and he had some crayons. He spent lunchtime fashioning a robot costume and then trying to climb inside it - which involved falling out of it many times.

The symposium was nearing it's end, it had been a huge success and yet Dr Abbott was still frantically panicking, his headline act had yet to appear, his cherry on top was missing, there was no piece de resistance. The time to announce Jimmy's robot had arrived but yet the actual robot hadn't. "I am afraid there will be no finale today, the pre-ordered entertainment has failed to..." Suddenly the lights went low and spot lights started flashing through the audience and the stage. The stage started to fill with smoke, Dr. Abbott stood there confused. Then the doors at the back of the auditorium flew open and a light shone up the isle so bright that many of the academics had to avert their eyes, it was like an eclipse -you knew you shouldn't look but they so wanted to see they couldn't help it. What priceless piece of entertainment laid in store for them?

A booming voice came over the tannoy, "Behold the eighth wonder of the world ...Jimmytron!" And with that a man covered in silver painted cardboard boxes walked down the isle doing his best impersonation of a robot. The audience was stunned, Dr. Abbott's jaw dropped. The robot made it's way up the stage stairs, once reaching the top it proceded to moonwalk into the centre of the stage (a move Jimmy learnt just for this gig). Jimmytron then went through the classic moves, it broke out the tea tray, it opened the can, it waved to the crowd - but in a robotesque manner. The crowd sat in disbelief as the music died down and the man in the cardboard robot suit stood there perfectly still. Then the big voice boomed one last time, "What lies between the world today and the world of tomorrow..."

The crowd looked around awaiting a response, "What was happening? What would happen next?" they kept thinking to themselves.

"...the minds of men" boomed the voice and then the music blasted into a new song. This song was far more up tempo and Jimmytron was moving around the stage at a pace that you would not believe, never had the robot been done at such a speed and with such precision. As Jimmy busted his best moves at this magnificent rate he would rip bits of the cardboard off revealing his skinny man body underneath (not that anyone at any point thought he was an actual robot). Jimmy finished, stood on stage in just his tidy-whities and the music boomed to an end and the lights lit up the room. The audience sat perfectly still staring at Jimmy. Dr. Abbott stood at the side of the stage fuming! He was sure Jimmytron had just wrecked his reputation in the scientific world. Then suddenly the crowd jumped to their feet, simultaneously cheering and clapping!

"Wow what great symbolisation of mans plight against technology" one hugely dawky man said to an equally dawky women as he clearly tried to impress her with his creative side. Jimmy bowed - in a robotic fashion of course - and then roboted his way over to Dr. Abbott who was still trying to stop his heart from racing with anger.

"You lucky son of a bitch," snarled the doctor.